Wednesday, May 14, 2008

The Big C; Another Haircut; Art (Or Is It Something Else?)

I am glad I decided to baby myself, because sheesh. This cold or whatever it is, it's kicked my derrière. If I hadn't babied myself, I really would probably be deep into bronchitis or pneumonia territory by now. As it is I am mostly better, save for some lingering congestion and some sinuses that were severely clogged yesterday but are now much better, thanks to the wonders of...cayenne pepper. Yes, that's right. Cayenne pepper.

Here's what happened. My sinuses were so bad yesterday morning that I couldn't hear out of my right ear and the right side of my face so clogged and heavy that I was literally off-balance. That's not fun! I tried to make an appointment to go see my doc. No luck. The earliest I could get in was tomorrow (Friday). I made the appointment anyway, and then promptly went a-searching teh Interwebs to see if I could find something -- anything! -- that would provide some immediate relief.

After learning more about my sinuses than I ever wanted (did you know that most people after age 30-40 can hold up to 2 full cups of mucus, dust, pollen, and other substances in their sinus cavity? ewww), I hit on some home cures. After ruling out things like standing on my head, plunging my head into a bucket of ice water, or squirting onion juice up into my nose, I decided to try sniffing cayenne pepper. That's right, I was desperate enough to snort cayenne! But don't be alarmed. I too was quite concerned about the potential negative effects of this cure, and so went about it very cautiously. I took the tiniest pinch imaginable (4-6 grains?) and sniffed about half of that. I waited a minute or two. Other than a faint and surprisingly not-unpleasant sensation of warmth in my nose and back of my throat, nothing happened. Cautiously emboldened, I sniffed the rest of the tiny pinch. The warmth increased, although again not unpleasantly so. Within minutes my sinuses began to drain. I will spare you the nasty details. Suffice it to say that after about a half hour, maybe forty-five minutes, the clog was unclogged, balance was restored, and I could hear out of my right ear again. Even better, it's stayed unclogged. All praise the curative effects of cayenne pepper, hallelujah!

If I'd been really bold and snorted a bunch all at once, I suppose I would have been fixed immediately -- but I think I also would have been in cayenne-induced agony. In this case, less was truly more. Anyway, the next time your sinuses are clogged, consider reaching for a teeny little bit of cayenne pepper. Or not; really, you've got to be rather desperate to try this one. But for what it's worth, it worked. I've even canceled tomorrow's doctor's appointment.

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Since the haircuts last week, I've had a lot of people tell me that their girls with their short hair look a lot like me. I dunno. I think that they look a lot like both of us. From my short, stocky point-of-view, they hit the genetic jackpot by getting their daddy's build: tall and lean. (Poor, poor things. To be fated to be tall and slim -- oh, the horror! I don't know how they'll endure it.../end false sympathy)

They've got my eyes and their daddy's build, and the rest is this combination of us that I think is uniquely them. But I don't know. What do you think? I just got my hair cut this morning, so here's a quick one of me (sorry, my arms aren't long enough for some better perspective and I didn't feel like setting up the tripod and remote), one of Pete from last summer, and the girls:









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A life-sized Lucian Freud painting of a sleeping, naked woman has set a new world record price for a work by a living artist.



It went for £17.2m ($33.6m). That's a lot of clams. Is it art? A challenge to our current cultural conception of beauty? Something else?

I don't know what I think. But if I were going to spend $33.6 million on a painting, I probably wouldn't buy this one.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am the thinking you could not pay *me* to own that painting. Or display it, anyway. Well, ok, it'd hafta' be quite a bit of money.

J

Cooking and Screaming said...

Ugh. The woman in that painting looks like she's sleeping off a bad night that she probably won't remember when she wakes up.

Yon Saucy Wench said...

It's really something, isn't it! I'm reminded of Rubens -- but whereas I would actually buy a Rubens painting if I had enough clams, this one...um...not so much.